How to ENJOY getting what you want

Posted by Katie Kovaleski on November 13, 2018 in Quick Facts Uncategorized

Does anyone have trouble receiving? In allowing in and basking in things we truly crave and desire? I know at times I do. So what’s the hold up? We asked for what we wanted, we got in alignment, said desire arrived and yet we can’t seem to stop road blocking ourselves from enjoying it, from trusting it.

Wellll, WE are typically the reason for our own unease and it’s usually a result of our auto pilot settings. The majority of the time we are awake, our minds run on auto pilot, default settings. We encounter a situation, see what works and gets a desired response and that behavior becomes our default. Until one day, we respond in the same way to a new situation and it doesn’t work; we are left feeling frustrated, frazzled, anxious and uneasy. All of those “unpleasant” emotions actually serve as little red flags, letting us know that this particular auto pilot response needs an update, it no longer serves us, our growth or is helping us achieve our current desires.

Here is an example…Imagine someone who has never been in a healthy, equal, growth oriented relationship. They have created default auto pilot settings according to their history, have not been satisfied, realize it hasn’t been healthy so they set their sight and desire on being in a healthy relationship. The universe provides this relatively quickly and yet, this person is still feeling uneasy. They tend to always be looking for things that are going wrong or could go wrong and pick apart most situations until they find something to be concerned about. They find this behavior unsettling, after all, they asked for what they wanted, received it and yet they can’t fully enjoy it. Why not?

Their auto pilot settings haven’t been updated and they are responding to this new situation as if it’s an old one. The unconscious behavior of picking things apart is likely two fold – one: every “issue” that is brought up provides an opening for their partner to leave them, which would reinforce the old unhealthy idea that they aren’t worthy and two: when this behavior occurs within a healthy relationship, the new partner responds lovingly and gives them reassurance and validation, showing how much they care. Engaging in those types of cycles is indicative of someone who has likely never given or received unconditional love, and when they are given that love, they tend to not know what to do with it.

Catastrophe? Definitely not. It’s an opportunity for growth. In order to receive what we want, we have to examine any beliefs that are getting in our way. In the relationship example, all that person needs to do is examine and restructure the way they want to give and receive love. Do they want to pick apart the relationship so they can feel worthy and receive validation from their partner? Nope. Now that they are aware that’s what they are doing can they change that pattern? Absolutely. Doesn’t it sound so much better to receive acknowledgement and validation from situations of appreciation and awe? HELL YES.

That type of old, unhealthy programming reminds me of the adage “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” But being the squeaky wheel or making your partner out to be that wheel isn’t a joy filled place to live, especially when neither of you deserve it. Seeking attention because you get more of it when things are going sideways won’t last forever, no one wants to play the squeaky wheel, especially when they are offering unconditional love.

So if you’re being offered something you have been desiring and are having a hard time gratefully receiving it, check those auto pilot settings. Chances are, they just need a little tune up.

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