Rushing Leads to Failure in Relationships

Posted by Katie Kovaleski on January 4, 2023 in couple's therapy life coaching

When our nervous systems are unregulated and we tend to lean towards codependent patterns, any person, place or thing that spikes excitement can lead us to think that the temporary “ooooo” needs to be a lifelong “ahhhhh.”

The truth is, if you are using discernment, no matter how strong your intuition might be, you’ll take time to get to know what’s in front of you vs. rushing into it.

Rushing and a sense of urgency to create permanence or commitment typically comes from a lack, scarcity or a fear based mentality. What’s really meant for us will not feel urgent, it will feel steady and the interactions and experiences we build with that person, place and thing will grow over time, strengthening the bond and leading to the commitment. Quickly jumping into a long term commitment in order to create or strengthen a bond is often the doorway to disaster.

Life long “ahhhhs” feel really good – and they take consistency and work. We are layered onions and those layers are what can make or break a dynamic. Getting to know someone or something, instead of trying to make it into what we want/need it to be (another reason we rush) is essential in creating lasting, successful commitments.

A healthy, consistent self-care practice can help us release the urgency and enjoy excitement without trying to rush into anything.

There is no rush, the good stuff can and will wait, what’s meant for you isn’t going anywhere 🤍

If you could use some help practicing discernment and making choices that lead to healthy, long term “ahhhhs” contact me to schedule a get acquainted call for a 1-1 coaching session. We will chat self-care, talk about what’s not working, identify what you want instead and create a clear cut plan, including making the subconscious changes to get you there.

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