“It didn’t work out, I wanted this to work so badly!” “Maybe I should’ve tried to ____ or _____ or _____” (cue imagining doing a thousand things differently, welcome to emotional torture)
It did work. It wasn’t SUPPOSED to last.
For all experiences, especially the painful ones – It’s all about you getting closer to being who you truly are, your full, whole being. Shedding the ego, shedding the facades, being purely you no matter where you are and who you are with. Your experiences are there to connect you with that version of yourself.
I think the situations that are the most painful are the ones where the “what if’s” come into play. And for me, the what if’s pop up when I wonder if I could’ve/should’ve/would’ve done something differently.
It’s much easier when I know I wouldn’t change a thing. Either because I’ve learned so much from it OR because I’m proud of the aligned way I responded and reacted. When I’m proud of who I was and how I behaved down to the letter, there are no what if’s. Turns out the pain doesn’t come from not getting what I want; it comes from the moments I was not being fully who I am.
And this is where the inner work comes in.
We can more easily live in a state of acceptance and non-attachment when we do the inner work and practice using the tools. Self-care tools like meditation can make it much easier to pause and reflect before responding which makes our external world a much better place. And makes our internal worlds much shinier because we are acting in alignment with who we really are > responding from the ego. Have a shiny weekend, friends ❤️